peacemaker

{Noah and Macie fight. What siblings don't? There is bound to be some bickering going on, right? Sometimes it frustrates us, as parents. Adam has been telling them that they should be peacemakers, and not fight.}

So, they were arguing about something, and Macie yells, "Noah, you're not being a peacemaker! Dad told us we're supposed to be peacemakers, and you are not one."

I'm sure she has the right idea.

Alison

happy birthday, alison!
have a great day!
we love you.

Happy Father's Day!

We have had a crazy week. Father's Day was a bittersweet day for us. We didn't forget it, but it was a different sort of day! And so, today, we celebrate Father's Day, again! Adam is the best daddy ever. The kids absolutely adore their daddy. They cannot even contain themselves when he walks through the door! They love playing with him, doing flips, riding bikes, and tickling...a lot. Noah gets really excited when it's Saturday or Sunday because he knows daddy will be home! He really is a great dad. He has so much knowledge of so many things, and especially the gospel. He has such a strong testimony and willingness to serve the Lord. His example is so awesome. He makes me want to be a better person. I loves the interaction of him and our children. There isn't another man that I would have picked to be my husband, to be the father of my children. He's perfect. We love you, Daddy!



{Macie opted out of the picture...but she loves you, too!}

Life on hold.

{this is very lengthy. probably my longest post. it really is for journaling purposes, i guess. it explains a lot of about why this blog has been so neglected lately...}

Last April, Adam's dad, Bryan was admitted to the hospital. Sadly, this was a common occurance in his life. We were alarmed, but were confident that he would be released and everything would be fine. It always was. But, we felt that we needed to drive there anyway. Jacob hadn't ever met his Papa, and we knew that Papa wanted to see the newest Christense addition, but wasn't in a position to travel much. We loaded all five of us in our Honda Accord, and headed north...19 hours north. However, when we got there, we didn't find what we thought we would. We almost were expecting a grim trip, maybe the last. But Bryan was well enough to do so many things with us. We ate a picnic on the beach, twice. We went to Pike Place Market. We did lots of things, and there weren't any hospital visits while we were there. Things were looking good. We were able to spend some real quality time with both Adam's parents. Bryan had just been given a miracle drug from Canada that was really working for him. We were able to make the journey again for Thanksgiving last year. It was a pretty good trip as well.

Fast forward another year...

Bryan had been in the hospital again. He kept getting admitted, and then released. It was happening more frequently. He was getting weaker. In November, an open wound was found on his leg, and it never healed. Many biopsies were performed on it, and every time a sample was taken from it, it grew. In May, he was given a medicine to help in the healing process. But, it almost did just the opposite. Every mediciation you get at the pharmacy comes with a pamphlet describing the drug, it tells you the side effects, drug interactions, and whatnot. I think Bryan experienced every side effect, which for him, is not a good thing. His liver was starting to fail, his condition was not getting better. In 2007 he was lucky to recieve a kidney transplant, and because of that, is on many mediciatons, they did not like this new one. He was given many blood transfusions to get rid of the new medicine, but damage had already been done. On May 30, 2010, Bryan was admitted to the hospital, for what we know now, the last time. A few weeks before the 30th, we all sort of knew we needed to go to Seattle. And if not to just help out Carol, and lift both of their Spirits, but to say goodbye. It wasn't something anyone wanted to do, but we knew that there was a possibility.

Seminary for Adam ended, and we knew we needed to go. We kind of played around with just waiting until Father's Day, but didn't feel right about that, so we went as soo as we could. We left on June 4th. We drove straight through, leaving at 4 AM, and arriving at the Christensen's door at 10:07PM. We made awesome time. The next morning, we visited with Bryan in the University of Washington Hospital. He looked exhausted. He slept a lot. The different drugs were causing him to sleep. A lot. We left for the afternoon, but went back later. Everyday we were there we made a trip to the hospital, staying at least 2 hours. Bryan was sleeping most of the time, but we spent time there. Carol would leave every morning, early, and wouldn't return until late in the evening. We weren't there for our own vacation, we were there to offer support to Carol, and to Bryan. The ones we were visiting were at the hospital, and so that's where we were, too. It was good to be together. The kids did so well there, too.

One day, Bryan had been sleeping, and woke up to take some medicines, and saw Macie standing there, he motioned to her with his finger. She walked up to him, and he gave her a big hug and a kiss, and a big smile. He loved his grandchildren, they loved him. Even all hooked up to monitors and tubes, they were always ready to give Papa a hug, a kiss, or a high five. Of course, this was a teary moment for the adults. It was very precious. On Sunday, Adam asked permission from Bryan and Carol's bishop to perform the sacrament for them in the hospital, as they were not able to attend the meeting block. It was a sweet experience, to be there for our own little sacrament meeting in that hospital room on the 6th floor. As the week went on, Bryan's condition worsened. At the beginning of the week, we were able to have short converations between naps, but now the weren't any breaks in the naps. It was pretty constant. The doctors were pretty confident that he would get better, and go home. He always did. There were plans for rehabilitation. He would probably have to go to a center before returning back to the hospital floor for rehab, to regain strength enough to do 3 hours of strenuous rehab. But, it was looking good. On Wednesday, the physical therapist came in to help Bryan walk. We were there. With the help of a walker, and 6 cheerleaders out in the hall, he made the steps out in to the hallway. Jacob clapped and cheered and gave his Papa and smile and a high five! Bryan said, "Well, that's a step in the right direction." Those were his last steps.

We planned to leave early on Monday morning. After church on Sunday, we brought up the sacrament. Bryan didn't have the strength to take it. Noah and Macie sang "I am a Child of God" for Papa, he loved it. He gave them the best smile afterwards. And then it was time to go. I gave him a hug and a kiss on the forehead, and touched his hand. It was very cold. Jacob was on my hip, and had a harder time in the hospital. He was a little afraid, I think. Which is understandable. There were a lot of unnatural things on Papa, many tubes, bandages, and monitors. As we were leaving, and after the older kids gave Papa a hug and a kiss, Jacob reached for Papa. It kind of shocked me. He gave a huge smile, and touched his face. Papa played with Jacob eating his fingers. Jacob giggled. He felt his scruffy face and just was all smiles. He waved and said "Bye Bye, Papa." Bryan looked at Adam and raised his eyebrows up and down, like he does a lot, and said Good Bye to his son. Adam told him he loved him, and Bryan said, "I love you, too." I said, "See ya." But it didn't seem right to say "see ya later." Adam choked up and cried as we walked to the car. He was worried it would be the last time he would see him. But no one could have known.

We left Monday morning, and got home late that night. On Tuesday, June 15th, Adam went to work as usual. I ran errands, it was a normal 'day after vaction" kind of day. At 3:10 Carol called. I missed the call. I don't know where I was, but I missed it. Heidi called at 3:25. I missed that one, too. They were calling to tell us that Bryan had been sent to the ICU, he has choked on some water, and aspirating. He needed assistance breathing until they figured out what was happening.

At 5:30, Matt, Adam's older brother called. There was something different about his voice as he asked if Adam was there. When Adam wasn't, he asked if there was a way to get a hold of him. I gave him his work number, but knew he might not answer. I knew there was something wrong. Matt called back and told me the new of Bryan's passing. The tears immediately fell. The sobs started. I knew, Adam didn't. When Adam finally called, in between tears, I told him to come home as soon as he could. He pulled in to the garage, he knew.

Bryan's passing has always been a possibility in the back of everyone's mind. We knew it would happen, we thought we would be ready. But there isn't a way to prepare for something like that. The emotions that fly are not expected. We had just left Seattle. We had just said Good Bye, we were there for his last week of life, and that is something that we, as a family, will cherish forever. It is something that we will never forget. The Spirit prompted us to go when we did, and there was good reason for it. Bryan probably knew, he was hanging on until he was able to say goodbye to each of his children and grandchildren. And, Adam was the last one. His suffering is over, his quality of life is greater, he is happy.

Carol has been so amazing throughout everything. If you haven't met her, you are truly missing out. She has been so strong. Her testimony of the gospel, of the Plan of Salvation, of the Atonement, has really shown through as she is able to cope and to mourn the way she has. We love her so much.

We were able to fly back on Saturday and be there for the funeral services. It was so comforting to be with family. We enjoyed ourselves, as I'm sure Bryan would have wanted us to. As we remembered Bryan, there were a lot of tears, but there were many laughs. It was so theraputic to remember his life. To remember all of his little jokes and phrases. Bryan will be missed. By so many. We love you, Papa.


{and it is for this reason, our life has been put on hold

We love you, Papa.

Bryan Thomas Christensen passed away today. It is definately something that you can't ever prepare for. You may think you are prepared until it actually happens. This past week we were given the opportunity to be in Seattle. We are truly grateful that we were able to see him, to spend time with him, to kiss him, to hold his hand, to tell him that we love him, and to say goodbye. As we left the hospital room on Sunday evening, and as we said goodbye, we hoped that this wouldn't be the last time. Sometimes things don't work out like we want them to, but rather work out as they should. We are so sad to lose our Papa, our father, our father-in-law, but are so happy that his suffering is over. He is happy. He wants us to be happy. He is in a good place.

Without the gospel and the knowledge that we have, I know that this would be so much harder. But, knowing that we will reunite with him makes things so much better. Families are eternal, they are forever. He was a great man, and he will be greatly missed. We all have so many great memories to cherish that we can hold on to forever. We love you, Papa!

For you, "It's back to the salt mines." There is more work for you to do.

Carmel-By-The-Sea, CA

My mom, dad, and Cory came up for Macie's recital. It was so good to see them. I hadn't seen them since October, which is a long time for me. I think it was the longest stretch. And Dad surprised us and was able to get the time off work to come, too. It was good to be able to show him Santa Maria, he hasn't ever been here. The weather was pretty crappy, not typical for the Central Coast, really. But, we still had fun!

On Sunday we attended our ward and in Sunday School the teacher described Carmel-By-the Sea. She had just recently gone there, and said the sand was white, and the water was turqoise and it was beautiful. My mom was sold. She wanted to go there. She has always wanted to drive up Highway 1 along the coast, so it was a perfect opportunity. So, we loaded up the Ford Flex, and we were off.

where to begin?

Dance Recital. Vistors. Carmel-By-The-Sea. Disneyland. Cutest kids ever.

So much to blog about, but so little time...

Is he mine?

I'm beginning to wonder if Jacob really is my son. He always had a different look about him. And he has curly hair. Where did that come from? But then I remembered that I think I was the only white patient in the hospital! ;-) He really is mine, and he's very cute, I'm very glad to be his mother.

Except when he eats snails. Yuck. He ate at least two that I know of. And I have scooped snail guts and shell out of his mouth twice. And then today he was playing with a spider like it was his best friend. He laughed and laughed as the spider crawled around his fingers. And then he played with the ants by the front door. He was down on the ground on his belly just poking them and smiling.

I HATE BUGS. Any type. I hate spiders. I hate snails. I pretty much hate nature. I like to look at it, but I don't care if I'm not in it! But, I have a son who loves creepy crawly things. Where did he come from? I thought this would be a good thing. And maybe I'd have someone to kill the spiders for me, but I'm afraid he will want to keep them as pets. That, I'm not okay with.

she's pretty funny.

Macie is a crack up. Half the time we have no clue where she gets the things she says or does. Things come from no where. However, there are things that she says that I know that I say a lot, but I don't think she's listening, or I don't realize I'm saying it. I say "like" a lot. Not like Valley Girl "like." But I do say it quite a bit. Macie does too. Probably got it from me, I'm afraid. More recently, she has started to use the phrase "freak out." I know I say that. Coming from a three year old is different! It's quite shocking to hear her say it! But, pretty funny, too. This morning when she came downstairs to eat breakfast, she was sniffing quite a bit. Our whole house suffers from allergies after it rains for some reason. So, she was sniffing and walking down the stairs. When she got down she yelled, "Mom! My nose is really FREAKING me out. It like won't like sniff up. Like, it's freaking me out."

Do I really talk like that?

Just another example of my three year old going on 18.

{this is just one of the MANY self portraits of this girl!}

Remember this?

A long, long time ago, I wanted to do THIS And I asked you if it was possble. And, because of the encouragment, I embarked on the journey to make Macie an adorable girly duvet cover. A friend from our ward happened to have a roll of the perfect fabric. {thanks, Anna!} It is light pink, and just what the project needed. It's almost been a year, I'm almost done...